[Brave or stupid is admittedly a hard question. She's not unaware of the risk, she's just stubborn enough to push at it anyway. She'd needed to know what he knew. And unfortunately for her, knowing that he knows something makes it hard for her to walk away. He'd not threatening her, he's just pushing, testing her reflexes. It just happens that his are better than hers, but she knew that going in. Not that the thought of killing him hadn't crossed her mind, it just seemed risky, and like any miscalculation would only make things worse.
The problem is when he asks her opinion. She considers for a moment, because this is a dangerous subject. She's a bit too bitter, a bit too broken, and she knows it. But his questions are leading enough for her to offer at least pieces of an answer, a slight exhale as she considers the questions.] I think you'd know better than me, I never finished my lessons in statescraft. But, I'm not sure you can. Not like that, anyway. Most people in positions of power concern themselves largely with the acquisitions of more power, what form that takes is specific to their particular role and part of the world. Money, information, guns, drugs, mystical relics, people willing to die for a cause, control, and so on. [There's a vague shrug of her shoulders.]
You have to change the shape of it, I'd think. [She leaves it there, because she knows that he's cutting close, but there's something a little murky in the morality of it. She wants to be a hero, to save the world, she wants to be something that Natasha wasn't, and yet there are shadows behind her blue eyes of things that even she doesn't quite understand.
Those words cut, even if she tries to shrug them off, because of course she does. Alexei had died in all but the same breath as she'd received her powers. Sometimes it felt like she'd stolen his life, like they were her curse for not saving him. She'd been embracing them more lately, thanks to Loki, Steve, people that didn't look at her like she was a monster. But there was always something very double-edged about her abilities. Including the fear that somehow this was what Ivan and her mother had wanted from her.]
It's not what I was taught, it's what I make of them. Something like that?
no subject
The problem is when he asks her opinion. She considers for a moment, because this is a dangerous subject. She's a bit too bitter, a bit too broken, and she knows it. But his questions are leading enough for her to offer at least pieces of an answer, a slight exhale as she considers the questions.] I think you'd know better than me, I never finished my lessons in statescraft. But, I'm not sure you can. Not like that, anyway. Most people in positions of power concern themselves largely with the acquisitions of more power, what form that takes is specific to their particular role and part of the world. Money, information, guns, drugs, mystical relics, people willing to die for a cause, control, and so on. [There's a vague shrug of her shoulders.]
You have to change the shape of it, I'd think. [She leaves it there, because she knows that he's cutting close, but there's something a little murky in the morality of it. She wants to be a hero, to save the world, she wants to be something that Natasha wasn't, and yet there are shadows behind her blue eyes of things that even she doesn't quite understand.
Those words cut, even if she tries to shrug them off, because of course she does. Alexei had died in all but the same breath as she'd received her powers. Sometimes it felt like she'd stolen his life, like they were her curse for not saving him. She'd been embracing them more lately, thanks to Loki, Steve, people that didn't look at her like she was a monster. But there was always something very double-edged about her abilities. Including the fear that somehow this was what Ivan and her mother had wanted from her.]
It's not what I was taught, it's what I make of them. Something like that?